And that one thing I’m hiding?
I. Am. Crazy.
And all I want to do is get drunk and go to college parties to escape who I am when sober, but drinking to erase my problems leads to even bigger problems and soon my frantic anxiety and panic is worse than ever before. I’ve lost everything, my ability to leave the house and even my will to live.
And as I lay there on the freezing basement floor, a loaded handgun pressed to my head in a cold kiss, he calls. After we hang up, I make a choice.
Why I Chose It: Victoria and I made contact through TheLibraryLife, and after finding out she had self-published her own book I definitely wanted to check it out!
The Review: One of the things that I really like about Angst is that it’s a story about a girl that we can all relate to. In the book, Victoria is a teenager attending college who has normal fears about being embarrassed in front of friends and being judged by strangers. She doesn’t feel comfortable in particular social situations, and I think that’s something we’ve all felt at one point or another.
However, this book was hard to read because of all the big emotions that it contained. Things like embarrassment, fear, anxiety, panic, and depression. These are really difficult emotions and it was hard to read about someone trying to deal with all of them. But that is also where this book is incredibly strong. While these emotions can be hard to discuss, I think they are equally hard to write about and actually make the reader feel these emotions through the writing. Angst succeeds beautifully in this regard. The writing is really powerful and definitely conveys the pain that Victoria goes through. I found myself really caught up in the emotions and was really pulling for Victoria. I also really liked the poetry that Sawyer includes throughout the novel, as it adds a window deeper into Victoria’s character and her emotions as they happen.
Angst shows you Victoria at her deepest point, where her emotions are caving in on her and she’s struggling to find a way out. Even though the book is grim and painful, I was definitely cheering Victoria on the entire time, watching her go out to parties with her friends and waiting for her to get together with sexy Jared. Every time her anxiety loomed again, I was rooting for her to push through it and succeed.
Although the book has a lot of really serious subject matter, such as alcohol, hard drugs, sex, language etc, I didn’t have any trouble with it, even though I usually do in novels. In Angst it totally suited the setting and the situations that Victoria was put through, and it was totally understandable that she would come into contact with these during her Freshman year. I enjoyed reading about the various parties she went to, and overall I thought that the drugs, alcohol, etc were incorporated really well into the story. I did struggle a little bit with the timeline of the story, as it’s not chronological. It bounces back and forth between the fall and spring of Victoria’s freshman year, and has occasional flashbacks to her childhood. After a few chapters I did get used to the inconsistent timeline, but I have to admit I did check the Table of Contents a few times to double check when certain events had happened.
Even though Angst covered some really hard subject matter, and was a bit difficult to read, I did enjoy reading it. Victoria is a really genuine character and I really felt for her throughout the story. I think Angst is a really interesting read and one that you should definitely check it out!
Rating: 3 / 5